As a kinkster in a much-like vanilla society I encounter situations in which I believe many as myself repeatedly experience. I see myself wanting to have a kinkster when in fact he or she is a vanilla person...but with years of experience and looking back I realize that there's levels to this lifestyle, and that with the right communication trust and honesty at hand it will allow and create possibilities for any vanilla person to enjoy and fully experience the Kinkster lifestyle play little at a time. Introduction to the play is very important, start slow and easy not overpowering but seducing and encouraging your play partner to further explore.
The Dominants attention is like that of a prize. It is to be accepted most graciously and with appreciation no matter what demands may need to be met. It is the only relationship where being ignored is also seen as communication and bonding. " Please tell me I will serve."
She is filling a void. Putting an end to a need. Completing a mission. Ultimately making him whole.
In most cases the D/s relationship lies beneath the surface. It isn't seen by the naked eye. It is deeper which is why it is so special. You often see couples showing affection in everyday life. That is wonderful and it is necessary to not only have a healthy relationship but I feel it leads to a healthy society. The D/s relationship is often seen as taboo which is not fair. It is different yes, taboo no. You see in the D /s relationship the affection is so intense and arbitrary that to the untrained eye it may not look like affection at all. But it is. It's even more than that. It is a high energy, stimulating exchange of physicality cloaked in non-sex sexuality that when performed properly can take on the feel of a never ending foreplay marathon. You see even when your finished it isn't over. It never ends. The submissive yearns to submit again. He hopes and prays the Dom has found pleasure in his performance. That she will have a place and a purpose for him. It doesn't matter how small or insignificant the role may be all that matters is he for the time being has won a place in her heart. A generous heart that cannot always be seen by a novice to this lifestyle. The sub longs to try harder to please, to delve deeper to experience. Without the true Dom the sub goes unfulfilled. He may be a happy family man with a successful career but his submission just drifts if the Dom is not there to harness it and guide it. Putting it through its necessary paces. How fortunate he is to have found her. He is a good man she makes him better. She rounds him. Expands his horizons yet brings him to depths that most men fear to tread even if it be their secret desire. It takes a brave confident mentally healthy man to surrender such decision making abilities to another. The Dom is exquisite blessed with all this knowledge she knows exactly what to do with him. He is safe and complete. He has found his inner most self.
Be free my kinksters and let the power of language take its course.